“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you” – Anonymous.
These days, many people look in the mirror and see someone they don’t like very much. They see faults and flaws. They feel shame, embarrassed and maybe even anger toward themselves. Part of the reason some people have poor self-esteem is because expectations doesn’t match the reality. Deep down we’ve all built the idea of who we ‘should’ be: how we should look, act, think, feel and be accepted by others. These “shoulds” can have a negative impact on self-esteem. When people fail to be these “shoulds”, many people can be depressed and they will have insecurities. And of course, bullying can result a low self-esteem too.
I think everyone once in a while has low self-esteem, but some people seem to struggle more than others with their self-esteem. Why? It turns out, believing that you’re a generally good person who makes mistakes helps you to accept your flaws and work on them. When people can take a look at themselves, they’ll see they’re like everyone else, with strengths and weaknesses.
I used to worry so much about my appearance and behavior especially when I’m entering a new environment like going to a new school, meeting new people, and a new community. I worried the people might not like me and will not accept me. But actually this behavior makes me anxious and feel insecure, and somehow makes me stay quiet a lot, I didn’t initiate talks with others because the fear of rejection. Until one day I realized that this kind of behavior just makes everything harder and I can’t reveal the real me in front of people. I realized I had to get rid of all these worries about my appearance and behavior. I started talking to people, I started being confident and I started to embrace my flaws. And I’m personally impressed of how I got through all of that. Now I’m a much more confident girl, I can speak in public, I enjoy meeting new people, and I can just be myself, do what I want, chase my passion. It feels so good to finally leave all the worries behind.
So ladies, start to respect yourself more and try to accept and embrace your flaws. It is okay to have those chubby cheeks, to have a body the way you want it to, to dress as you want, be what you want, and it is okay to be your own self in public. Because at the end of the day, no one is perfect anyway. Many people think you’re special, and why would you listen to one person who thinks you’re not? The key is to realize that everyone has their own flaws and to start believe in yourself, ladies!
Kadya Kirana - Yogyakarta